Watching themselves on the flip...

They love watching vids of themselves on the flip. Annie, obviously, is 'in-charge' of the flip buttons because, obviously, 'Ezzy is too little to touch it.' Ahhh, good thing he is so mellow. ;o)

Ezra's new tricks

Well, first of all, he can stand up now! So far, only when he is holding on to something, but it'll be hands-free soon, I'm sure! He loves crawling (still mostly his funny 'worm' crawl) over to the stairs and attempting to climb them. His 'climbing' consists of pulling himself upright and then banging his hands on the step. It's really too funny!

He does a few other new things that are pretty funny, too. He 'talks' back and forth with us by blowing raspberries (not sure how else to describe this...you know what I mean though, right?) and babbling syllables over and over (mmmmbah, bah, bah). He kisses us with his mouth wide open. He bites me on the shoulder when I hold him and then makes the saddest face ever (his mouth like a rainbow) when I tell him 'no' then waits a beat and smiles. Stinker. And coolest trick of all - he does this thing where he holds his hand flat, palm up, and then gestures towards something. I tried to get a picture of it yesterday (see below) but it wasn't the greatest example. The picture is cute though because I was doing the gesture with my hand and his eyes are looking at my hand instead of me/camera- cuteness. Anyway, on Saturday we were at a friends house and he clapped his hands for the first time! And then on Monday morning he and I were hanging out on the couch before Annie woke up and he clapped again a couple of times. THEN, (here comes the cute part, finally), Annie comes downstairs and little Ezra gestures towards Annie and then claps his hands!!! Annie says, "Presenting Annie! Good job, buds!" Oh man, I have reason to believe she is training her poor brother up to be her future emcee...

Annie said...

I can hardly keep track of all the adorable and funny things that come out of Annie's mouth lately. Here are a few gems from this last month:

"I saw the line on Daddy where they cut him and put a new dependix in."

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"I'm young. Soon I will be old, like Uncle Diddy" (Ha ha ha - sorry David!)

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Upon waking up in the morning:
"Someday I'm going to get married. Yep. Daddy is going to buy me a ring and a marry cake. A big one!"
(Further investigation of this statement led to her letting me know she dreamed that she got married... to Daddy! Precious! And a great story to tell when she starts dating!!)

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In response to my questioning what she was reading about (she was looking at a picture of all the planets and space in the creation story in her children's Bible);
"I'm just reading the Bible... it's a story about an astronaut named Moses."

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And one more...
Whenever I do something that she likes or that makes her happy she compliments me by saying, "You are the famous Mommy! You are so good!" Gotta love that!

Sister Bear & Brother Bear

This picture is the best out of a 10 minute attempt at getting a good one of the two together... ugh, not an easy task! I like this one anyhow, because it shows both of their moods that day. Not a generic 'smile' face or anything too planned- just my babies being themselves. Anyhow, I realized that Ezra is already 9 months old and I really don't have that many photos of the two together- which is strange, since they are pretty much always together!

They have been really interacting a lot lately, which is so fun to watch. I get a kick out of anything they do together, even when they are not getting along. It's pretty funny to see Ezra's reaction to Annie taking something away from him-- he usually squeals, grabs her arm or leg, and tries to bite her- yikes!! Hopefully this will be ancient history once he has words to tell her how he feels... hopefully. ;o)

It is sweet how much they love each other already. Ezra and I are always awake before Annie, having some good one-on-one time, he is happy to be with me, but his face really lights up the moment Annie comes in the room. He is always thrilled to see her and she usually snuggles him and they 'talk' and giggle together for a sweet moment before we head down for breakfast.

Every so often Annie reminds me that she wants to share a room with Ezra when he is bigger. She says they want bunk beds and matching stuff. We'll see if this is still her plan in a few years!

She also tells me that when Ezra is big, like her, that I need to order another baby-- this time a girl! If only it were that easy! Well, at least we know she loves being a big sister!!

Playdoh Cookies

Annie and I made some homemade playdoh for a play date last week and we are still having lots of fun with it! She loves to bake, so she decided to make some cookies. She added some glitter for 'sprinkles' and then baked them in our empty wine rack. Glad the wine rack is getting some use out of sitting empty in the dining room- ha ha!

Ezra is 9 months old!

4th of July!!!

Annie as, "Lady Delivery" in the annual neighborhood parade, with Uncle Mark, Daddy, and Ezra.

Ezzy, celebrating his first Independence Day, with Auntie Ellie at the neighborhood party. The party is a big event, celebrated the 3rd of July each year in our neighborhood.

Annie swimming with her friend and neighbor, Anna. Annie is doing a cheerleader pose, of course.

Annie getting ready to go watch fireworks from a neighbors backyard on the night of the 4th.

Annie and Ez in their matching shirts, sent in the mail from Mama Pauli! Annie has been talking about 'twins' and wishing she were a 'twin' a lot lately, so Mama Pauli made her dream come true with these cute shirts and some jammies, too! So nice of our Mama Pauli!

Annie Said...

Thanks, my Benny, for writing a lil' bit for the last post. Ezzy definitely looks like a mini Ben, but with my eyes! He has his Daddy's sweet, calm disposition, too!

Now for a couple of quotes from the one who doesn't have Daddy's calm disposition- the one who got Mommy's... what's the opposite of calm disposition? ;o)

{June, 2011- To Mylo, while standing in the buff, watching her tub fill up...}

"No Mylo!!!!! My buns are privacy!!"

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{June 10, 2011}

Ben: What's your puppy's name?

Annie: Benny.

B: It's a little boy puppy?

A: No, she's a girl puppy.

B: Oh, Benni, with an 'i.'

A: She has two eyes, Daddy.

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{June 11, 2011}

"Mommy, you are cute, 'cause you are extraordinary. But, you are not extraordinary when you are mad because I'm in trouble."

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{June 2011- In response to me telling her that her outfit was cute.}

"I know. God made me a good dresser."

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{July 7, 2011}

"Soon I will be 4 and then I will go to kindergarten. Then I will be 10 and I will go to college."

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And one from today, July 10, 2011. I started to pack for our Minnesota trip (3 more days!!) so Annie went in her room and packed her little rolling backpack all by herself. She came out and showed me that she had packed some clothes, panties, pajamas and pull-ups, lots of books, a snuggly-furry friend, and a baby toy for Ezra. The last item in her suitcase was a fairy wand. She explained that the fairy wand was, "for when Ezra fusses on the plane, so I can bippity-boppity-boo him into a nice prince." Overall, I am very impressed with her packing. I may have her pack my bags, too!

Ezra on his daddy's baby blanket

Mama Susie was kind enough to give us some of my (Ben's) baby stuff from over 30 years ago. I think that constitutes them as ancient relics. One of the most notable items was this baby blanket made by my late Grandma Isabel.

I think my parents would agree: little Ezzy looks a lot like little Benny did, snuggled up for his nap.

Thanks, Mama Susie!

Little Body, HUGE Personality!

Oh the little things!!

I'm really enjoying the small things in life lately. I love sitting back with a cup of coffee and just watching my babies be themselves. They are amazing... Here are some of the little things I've enjoyed recently:

1. Annie is an actress, reciting and acting out movie lines for play almost every day. This is a picture of her acting out the scene in 'Beezus and Ramona' in which Ramona takes her school picture with raw eggs dripping down her hair. Hilarious to watch her do the whole scene, but this picture is pretty spot-on, on its' own!

2. Ezra thinks he's awesome because he can put his paci in all by himself. The funny thing is that he often puts it in sideways or upside down. I love the look on his face in this picture- he's like, "What's so funny, Mom?!"

3. Ezra can scoot now. But, he can only go backwards. I had set him on the green blanket to play while I cleaned off my desk in the kitchen and was talking to him until I left the room to toss the garbage from my desk. When I came back he was gone!! I said, "Ezra!?" pretty loudly and then immediately heard his fusses from behind the ottoman. He had scooted back there and couldn't move forward to get back out!! Poor buddy! I smiled at him and promised to be right back, because I had to run and get the camera to document his adorable face peeking around the ottoman..."A little help here?!" So stinkin' cute, this one!!

Snuggly-Furry-Friends

Can you find Annie in this picture? Ha ha ha! You can see the top of her head snuggled down for her nap with all of her snuggly-furry-friends. She heads upstairs for her nap on her own now, and usually takes at least 20 minutes to arrange her stuffed animals around her on the bed.

This is how I found Annie after her nap that same day-- playing with all of her 'snuggly-furry-friends' on her bed... wearing a pair of undies on her head. Weird science... What a goofball!

The Project Girl

Annie still loves doing 'projects' at her little art table. I have set out a little container to hold some general art supplies such as markers, crayons, scissors, glue, stickers, paper, etc. She really likes making a little project and then putting it in an envelope to send to someone. Now I just need to really make good on it and send them to you all!! The neat thing is that she even 'addresses' the envelope to the person by writing the first letter of their name on it. We have several envelopes with the letter 'P' on them, for Mama Pauli, since Grandma Pauli is so good about always sending Annie and Ezra things in the mail! We love heading to the real mailbox to see if there is anything for Annie. She can find the mail with her name on it and then 'read' the corner to see who sent it!

She is 'reading' lots of things lately. She recognizes and reads environmental print like store signs and logos (Starbucks, McDonalds, Target, etc.) and pretty much anything around the house with letters on it. Last night she really wanted ice cream after dinner and when Ben handed her a little container of yogurt that Mama Pauli had left in the freezer she said, "No Daddy! That's not ice cream-- the letters spell 'yogurt.' See?" She pointed to the words on the container and gave Ben a "I told you so" look. Ha ha- this girl is so smart, it's getting tough to keep one step ahead of her already!

Father's Day 2011

It was fun to celebrate our favorite, best-in-the-whole-wide-world Daddy this year. Ben really wanted a set of custom Vikings cornhole boards for our neighborhood happy hours- so we found a guy on Etsy to make them for Father's Day. We knew the boards wouldn't be here in time, so we surprised Benny with a small gift from each baby. Annie gave Daddy an electric pancake skillet and said, "now you can make me LOTS of pancakes!!" when he opened it. Ezra gave Ben a "Baby Barbells" book which shows how to get fit using your baby as your weights. They are having lots of fun with that!

Ben made some awesome banana-peanut butter-dark chocolate chip pancakes for us and then we spent the afternoon and evening hanging out with our neighbors. Ben's day was made when Annie tried bbq ribs for the first time and exclaimed, "I LOVE ribs!!" Ha ha ha!

We are excited for the cornhole boards to arrive and to continue celebrating our 'Dad.' He really is the best father. So patience and doting and fun. Annie and Ezra are madly in love with their Daddy. I am, too. ;o) Happy Father's Day, my Benny!

Ezra's first art project...

Ezra got some cute little 'baby's first' markers in his Easter basket this year, so I thought I would let him try them out. The first thing he did was put them in his mouth. Over and over again. So, I put his pacifier in his mouth to see if that would prevent the markers from going in. He sort of just fumbled around with the markers because his little hands were too small to get a good grip on them-- the package said the markers are for 18 months and up-- until Annie decided he was too little for markers.
When Annie took the markers from Ezra he cried a pitiful little squeal. Poor buddy!
We decided to give Ezra paper to play with while Annie colored with his markers. She had fun coloring with the little animal markers and he enjoyed folding and crumpling the paper. So, after all was said and done, Ezra's first art project was origami!

Ezra is 7 months young!!

Bubbles!

Last night we enjoyed a little picnic in the loft and then went outside to do some bubbles. I think Daddy had just as much fun as Annie did! Annie was a mess by the end of it (she decided the big bubble wand would make a cool hat) so we headed inside for tubby time. It was a really nice, simple evening. I love nights like this.

Confessions of a not-so-super mom...

Dear Diary... I feel like I should start out that way because I am about to unload some things off my chest. Literally, since I am having 'chest pains' so bad that I cannot sleep. Which is something that I really should be doing since I am going on 8 months now without a good night's rest (last 6 weeks prego, plus the time since Ezra has been out of the womb, up every few hours). But, this is my personal blog, my chance to 'diary' the events of our family- mostly the dear sweet moments I want to remember forever, but anything goes, so here it is; the unload:

1. I feel terrible that I have not blogged in so long. I have been adding photos to my 'to blog' file for when I have a chance to sit down and blog, but the more time passed, the guiltier I felt about not updating with recent posts and the more I avoided it all together.

2. I have been 'sweating' the small stuff. You know the stage of life you are in when you have a full load of laundry that is only tu-tu's and bibs. And you know how tired you are when you don't think twice about washing them together. And then you find yourself near tears as you stand in your laundry room carefully ripping the insane bib-velcro/tu-tu tulle ball of laundry apart, trying not to ruin the darling skirts. Ugh.

3. Annie has been calling me "Mysea" a lot lately. She is a creative little one, with an amazing sense of humor... but for some reason I am taking it personal that she isn't calling me 'mommy.' She has also decided that she is 'four' not three. And that 'three isn't fun like one or two' so she is four until she can be sixteen. Which makes me feel panicky that she is growing up way too fast. I find myself panicking instead of enjoying way too often.

4. I want to be a perfect wife and mother. That doesn't seem so bad, right? Well I think it's that word 'perfect' that gets me into trouble. It seems like the harder I try, the further away from perfection I go. Let me give you an example. One that is really weighing heavy on my chest tonight...

This Saturday was Annie's first big dance recital. It was the sweetest thing ever. Really, really, REALLY cute. It was at 2:30 in the afternoon (right in the middle of nap time), so when Annie was awake at 5:45 am- nearly two hours earlier than normal, I knew the day was going to be a challenge. Since the last few hours of the night are when I get my best sleep (because Ezzy is getting his best sleep) I decided to give Annie a sippy of milk and a bowl of dry Cheerios to snack on while she watched the Yogi Bear movie in the living room. I laid next to her on the couch and rested with a sleeping Ezra in my arms. I should tell you that I was woken up about every 10 minutes by Annie to see the 'good part' that was on, but still felt refreshed when the movie was over. Then we got up and I made pancakes for Annie and I and fresh banana and oatmeal babyfood for Ezra. After breakfast I cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes left from the night before. Then I finished editing some photos, burned a disc of digital negatives, took a shower, gave Annie a shower, walked the disc over to my neighbor and dropped of their tickets for Annie's recital. After that I made lemonade for Annie and I, put Ezra down for some tummy time while Annie and I did puzzles, sent some picture messages on the cell phone to family (which has replaced blogging, lately), and then made some lunch. The day was going really well so far. Really well, considering Ben was at work, which is rare for a Saturday, and I was on my own to get to the recital. Halfway through photographing the making of Ezra's homemade babyfood (peas and pears!) I had this sinking feeling that the day was going a little too well. But, I was trying to be 'super mom,' so I continued with the fresh babyfood while Annie enjoyed her ravioli and peas.

Ezra loved his babyfood-- he loves to eat, in general, so I wasn't surprised. I had the kids eat lunch a little earlier than normal, to see if I could sneak in a nap for Annie before her recital. I, again, could not believe my good luck when Annie happily laid down and took a nap a full hour and a half earlier than normal. This gave me a chance to wash a load of laundry, read to Ezra, nurse him, get him changed, and get everything set for getting Annie ready. I set up a little 'salon' in the kitchen- complete with a pedestal mirror on the counter for Annie to watch as I curled her hair. My luck continued as I was able to get Ezra down for his nap just in time to get Annie up and dolled up for her recital. I was really feeling like an excellent mother at this point. I had the diaper bag packed, both babies ready, and Annie looked adorable! Not that she doesn't all the time anyway, but mother's of three-year-olds can image how tricky it is to convince a toddler to sit still long enough to curl their hair. Her 'strawberry milk' (Trader Joe's strawberry yogurt drink) kept her busy for the first few minutes, but after that it was all mom tricks to keep us both safe from burns! Anyway, Annie was beautiful and I had everything all set to go.

Annie anxiously asked me (more than once on the twenty minute car ride) if I had remembered her wings. I had. I had remembered everything AND was not only on time for the half hour early call time, but I was even 5 minutes early. I loaded Ezzy and all our stuff into a stroller and then walked Annie to the backstage drop spot. I stayed with her for a little while and calmed her nerves and then went up front to meet Ben in the lobby. We had great seats and were there with some good friends and neighbors. Again, everything was going so well. Annie's group was first. She looked so tiny up on the huge stage. It was the most darling little performance- sixteen pretty little pink ballerinas all bumping into each other and looking so innocent and sweet that I wished I could freeze time and savor the moment a little longer.

Ben looked over at me and smiled. He told me she looked beautiful and that I was such a good mommy. I was thrilled. I wanted to reach behind and pat myself on the back for the great day. I enjoyed the rest of the performances with a huge smile on my face. And then it happened. The curtain closed and men in white shirts and ties stood up all over from the audience and walked up onto the stage. Ben looked around and then turned to me and asked what was going on. The curtain reopened and answered his question- a choreographed daddy/daughter dance. To make it even worse, it was to a song that Ben had recently told me reminded him of Annie. I could not believe this was happening. There was a daddy/daughter dance happening that I had somehow missed the sign-up for. I immediately starting apologizing to Ben- who played it cool and told me it was no biggie. But I could tell he desired to be up there dancing with his little ballerina. They dance together all the time at home, so this was right up his alley. I felt deflated. How is it that I messed this up? Was it the week that we skipped ballet because we were on vacation? Was it the time I dropped her off late for class? I felt awful about it all night. Ben told me to let it go. But I kept thinking that Annie would someday be watching the DVD of the recital and notice the finale with other girls from her group dancing with their dads and wonder why she wasn't a part of that. I felt like the opposite of super-mom. I felt like super-sucky-mom.

The evening was nice- we went out to eat with my good friend and her family (their little girl and Annie are in the same dance group) and then hung out with some neighbors for the rest of the evening. I continued to apologize to Ben for messing up the dance for him- and he continued to tell me it was no big deal.

5. I am making everything into a big deal lately. I think it's from the pressure of the big 3-0 that is looming in my near future. I should be happy about it. My mom reminded me of my blessings- awesome, supportive, and handsome husband, beautiful and fun kids, accomplishments in my career... home, good health... sooooo much to be celebrating. Which makes me feel even worse about feeling anxious about turning 30. Ugh. Grow up. ;o)

Back to Saturday evening... around 9pm Ben walked Annie, sleeping Ezzy, and I home from the neighbors. He went back to hang out a little longer and I tried to get some rest. Around 1 am I realized Ben wasn't home yet and I hadn't slept yet. Not good. This meant we would both be tired in the morning when the babies are at their perkiest! When I woke up the next morning I was happy to see that I had gotten to sleep in until 8:30. Then I sat up and felt the pain. I had pain in my chest and in my back directly behind my heart. I was scared to drink the coffee Ben brought me for fear of heart attack. I spent the morning trying to relax. First I watched a movie- 13 going on 30. Bad choice. There is a part in the movie in which the 30-year-old protagonist is homesick, so she takes a short train ride home to be with her parents. That night she snuggles by her mom to sleep. ...I cried. One, because I miss my mom and cannot take a lil' train to see her, and two, I don't want Annie to grow up and leave me. *Sob* After the movie Ben suggest we have a family karaoke party in the loft with the new CD he made. I was still downstairs when I hear him singing 'Landslide'.... children get older, I'm getting older, too... *SOB*

Around 3pm I decided that my chest pain was not getting any better and took myself to Urgent Care. After several tests, including EKG and chest x-rays the doctor tells me to lay-off caffeine (here is the part where you give me suggestions in sleep training Ezra so that I don't require so much coffee) and to visit my PCP soon. He prescribed a mega-ibuprofin for some 'inflamed tissue' condition that he thinks is the source of the pain. I asked if he ruled out heart-attack-- which he had already reassured me about, and then asked if it could be anxiety related. He asked if I had any major stress in my life right now. I told him I am turning 30 in one week. He smiled and said that couldn't be it. Really? Then why do I feel panicky every time I think about it? Well, I sure wish I would've spent the afternoon, and the copays, for that matter, at a spa instead of a dingy urgent care clinic... Oh well.

When I got home Ben asked what the diagnosis was. I told him 'broken heart' from messing up the daddy/daughter dance. He hugged me and was sweet to me, as usual.

My chest still really hurts (which is why I am up blogging, instead of sleeping) but I am pretty certain it is just anxiety. It seems silly, I know.... because, I know have it pretty good. The x-ray tech even pointed out how blessed I am to be able to be a stay-at-home mom in times that are forcing many moms back to work. When I think about all my blessings, it makes me feel worse about complaining at all. But, this isn't really a complaint. It is more of a confession. I am not a super-mom. (Obviously). And I think I try too hard to be one. And I do that because I want my children to have charmed little lives with lovely memories.

I realize that not every memory will be 'lovely' and that I will make more mistakes in parenting. I do hope, though, that in documenting this not-so-super memory that I will remember an important message for Annie and Ezra. ...Perfection stinks! Just kidding, that's not the message. I actually was thinking of an old song by DC Talk. It goes, "What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my steps and make fools of us all? Will the love continue when the walk becomes a crawl? What if I stumble, what if I fall?"... and later continues, "I hear You whispering my name, you say 'my love for you will never change'..." It is a beautiful song about Jesus' love for us- no matter what. Even when we make mistakes. Just like I always love Annie and Ezra 'no matter what.' I think the love that a parent has for their child is modeled from the intense love God has for us. It's so much bigger and stronger than 'in love.' It makes us want to be our best, and get it right- for their sake. So when we mess something up, it seems worse than normal.

And that is the point of this TMI-open-diary blog post. Not just to put it out there, in writing, that I know I am not perfect-- in hopes that maybe by saying it I can stop having anxiety about not achieving it ;0), but also to share my struggle with other parents. Maybe you feel 'not-so-super' sometimes. Maybe you have an easier time getting over it, and don't waste hundreds at your local Urgent Care for your 'chest pains.' Either way, we need to give ourselves a little slack. If I want Annie and Ezra to believe me when I tell them that I love them 'no matter what' and that I will always support them, then I need to model that 'forgiving' attitude towards myself.

Hopefully my lil' late night confession helps someone... Or at least entertains them. ;o)

It is 2:18 am now, so I'm clicking 'publish post' without editing this rant. Enjoy.

Ezra in Annie's Stuff

I know I've said it before, but we LOVE hand-me-downs at our house! Ezra looks awesome in Annie's old fishy-jams while he checks out her baby entertainer chair. It's super fun to see him using some of her things-- also a good reminder of how fast the time goes when they are little! It seems like just yesterday Annie was in that chair... But, she is THREE years old already. Speaking of her being three, I have plenty of birthday pictures to blog. Better late than never, so be looking for those real soon!

Ezra finds his hands. (March)

Around 3 months old Ezra gained a little more control of his body. Once he figured out how to hold his arms still he discovered something amazing... hands. Wow. For about a week straight he studied his chubby little fists like it was his job.

Great Grandparents Visit

Great Grandma Irene (Mama 'Rene) and Great-Grandpa Earl came to visit us today. Annie was counting down the minutes to their arrival, and talked Grandma into making cookies with her within the first hour of their visit. They had lots of fun making the oatmeal m&m cookies and the rest of us enjoyed eating them!

Grandma let Annie open her birthday gift early, as they will be heading back to MN in a few weeks. Irene made Annie a beautiful Panda Bear quilt. Annie just loves it! It really is beautiful, you just want to keep looking at it and feeling the lovely applique Pandas. Irene is so talented, and we are grateful that she is so generous with her quilts. She brought Ezra a bright, fun tummy time quilt, too. He spent some time laying on it, playing with Grandpa Earl... which made Ezra laugh a lot. That Grandpa Earl, always a funny guy!

It was so nice to spend the day with them. We all feel rejuvenated, in a way, after time spent with family. Something so nice about just relaxing together. Thanks for the great day Earl and Irene!